i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
