im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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