shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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