no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
only you would photoshop your dick
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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