The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
