why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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