my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize