I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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