being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
