I can tuck mytits in my pants
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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