why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
