i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
