either way he was missing a nipple.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
