the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
