I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i black out too much to be "responsible"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize