tell your sister to shave her snatch
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
50% drunk capacity currently
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
