I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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