The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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