I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
This is my life. Enjoy the view
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
