I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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