its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
