Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
