his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
