saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
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