i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm like, not good at living.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
