why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
