we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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