we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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