big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize