Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
