My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
