I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
