you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The Olympian is in my bed
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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