It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
