ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize