when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
