so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I love you. Go after that dick
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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