mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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