I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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