Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
