your parents love me but you hate me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
how drunk are you?
Several
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
