I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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