i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize