belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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