somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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