He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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