dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
