Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
