i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
