Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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