"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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