I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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