Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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