I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
