you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
