White coat. Heels.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
