i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
