now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
